Thursday, September 19, 2013

Move.

Well, I'm doing it.  Moving more.

A month ago, I had come to the realization that I basically did NOTHING to be active over the summer.  I got up and walked in town early in the morning while the girls and Matthew slept a total of THREE times, I believe. Pathetic.

But that's not all.

I ate WHATEVER I wanted. And HOWEVER MUCH I wanted.

Seriously.  I'm not kidding.

Thinking about it now is actually pretty disgusting to me.

So I hit the heaviest weight I've been in a LONG time near the beginning of August.  I finally said, "Enough is enough."

Here's the deal. It's not the first time this has happened.

Back in August of 2009, I started the Weight Watchers program in Lee's Summit with my mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-laws.  We rocked it. In fact, I lost almost 20 pounds from then to February.

I even made it through the HOLIDAY season and still stay committed to my health goals.

Near the middle of February, however, my grandpa got sick.  We were close. Like really, REALLY close. And even harder than that, my girls thought he was the world.  He was their Papa Stephens and they were his sweethearts.

Thankfully, Grandpa didn't suffer long. He had a few years there where he needed some oxygen support as he moved through his daily activities (driving through town delivering cantaloupe to random people in their yards, gossiping at the coffee shop, and of course...spending time with my babies). 

Then in February, he ended up in the hospital. He needed ventilator support for a little while, woke up to say goodbye, and went to be with Jesus on the very peaceful evening of March 1, 2010.

It was peaceful. It was difficult. It was beautiful. It was heart-breaking. It was a life-changing moment...the first and only grandparent I've ever lost. Am I blessed or what?

The food started coming to Grandma's house. The kitchen table filled with homemade goodness, surrounded by family and dear friends sharing memories of Grandpa. So I ate.

I started eating at the funeral dinner and I just never stopped.

Until a few weeks ago.

I've always been an emotional eater. Food for me was something to share with friends and family in sorrow, in celebration, in good conversation...with laughter, with tears...spring, summer, autumn, and winter...food, food, food...

Slowly (or maybe not so slowly), the pounds started creeping back up. My normal 145 became 150. My normal 150 became 155. 

And as of August 20, 2013...165 was my normal.  And that's what I weighed in at my first Weight Watchers meeting.

Hello, my name is Hannah, and I sure do love me some food.

But I think I love reward stickers at Weight Watchers meetings more. And watching my clothes feel bigger. And being able to breathe as I jog on the treadmill. And hearing people say, "Have you lost weight?"

Actually, yes...I have. 

"How did you do it?" they ask.

Well, it started deep inside with a realization that I CAN do this again. That 165 doesn't HAVE to be my normal. That I have grown up a lot since losing Grandpa, and this time I can lose it and keep it off.

Four weeks later, I'm down over ten pounds! I'm at 154 and headed down!

I'm doing the Couch to 5K app, tracking my food and drink intake, filling myself with healthy choices like protein and fiber, and I am telling myself every day that THIS is me. 

I don't have to be self-conscience about jogging on a treadmill just because I've never really been a "runner". 

I don't have to listen to the negative self-talk that sometimes creeps into my thinking.

I CAN DO THIS.

And so can you.

Picture yourself the way you want to be...regarding health, debt management, home organization.  Picture yourself, set a goal, and take action.

All you have to do is move.


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